The alien gets it.

I won a lot of races when I was younger.

Jesus…

ever the scapegoat

tabathabrunette:

Don’t look at me like that.

stophollytime:

Oh Bill Maher, I fucking love you. You too Craig Ferguson.

scottmcrissman:

sexbeerliberty:

Damn right.  Some people just take life way too seriously. 

Yes.

darwinsminion:

mkaybb:

acrylicemulator:

old-norse-goddess:

w0lfmansgotnards:

deadbyproxy:

vaguelyattracted2rooftops:

Once upon a dim stage dreary, while I twirled, weak and weary

Under many quaint and curious gaze’s of voyeurs wanting more

While I spun round, nearly falling, suddenly there came a calling

the voice of which was quite appalling, appalling and it screamed out “WHORE”

Tis’ some drunkard, I muttered, screaming out the insult “WHORE”

Only this and nothing more.

I will never not reblog this

THE SHOES! OMFG.

//CRYING!

This…

Is a thing that happened on my dashboard.

Everything is complete…

Fucking brilliant

darwinsminion:

robertlovespi:

The “White Women’s Workout.”  Not for the easily-offended.  You’ve been warned!

Love

Black extremist response:

This video is racist! It promotes the stereotype that black men are thugs and dangerous. That black men are purse-snatching fiends hungry for white women!

Feminist extremist response:

This video is sexist! It promotes the idea that women shouldn’t be out alone, can’t fend for themselves, and should be thin!

Normal people response:

That’s funny! -OR- Meh, that’s corny.

My response:

I wonder if his penis is bigger than mine?